Crackpot Quilters’ Blog

Here it is – all done and on Andrew’s bed! Yay!

Gift Bag Secrets Revealed!

Instructions for the confused, bewildered, and flummoxed. You know who you are…

1.Select two coordinating fabrics, one for the bag and one for the lining. The floral is my bag fabric and the floral stripe is my lining fabric.

2.Cut two rectangles from the bag fabric and two rectangles from the lining fabric. These should all be the same size. The size of each rectangle will be ½ inch longer and ½ inch wider than the finished bag. (Note: If you square off the bottom of the bag, as in steps 6, 7, and 8, the bag will seem narrower than your measurements. Make adjustments accordingly.) You can vary the size to fit the gift you want to bag. I am working with a rectangle about 14 inches high and 12 inches wide.

3.Right sides together, stitch the two bag fabric rectangles together along the sides and the bottom. You can stitch in a squared off U shape. A ¼ inch seam is sufficient for quilting weight cottons.

4.Place the bag lining fabric rectangles right sides together. Stitch one side and the bottom. On the second side, you will leave part of the seam open for turning. Stitch up from the bottom a few inches and backstitch. Leave an opening of 2-3 inches. Then backstitch again and stitch up to the top edge.

5.Press seams open.

6.With the bag and the lining still inside out, fold the bag so that one side seam is up against the bottom seam and you have a point where the seams meet.

7.Stitch across the point to form the flat bottom of the bag. The size of the flat bottom will be determined by how far from the point you stitch. See your local paper grocery bag for more information. Do this for both corners on the bag and both corners on the lining, keeping the distance from the point the same on each corner.

8.Trim the points off, leaving a ¼ inch seam.

9.Turn the bag right side out, but leave the lining inside out.

10.Put the right side out bag into the inside out lining, having tops together and matching side seams. Pin. Stitch the tops together all the way around with a ¼ inch seam.

11.This is the confusing, bewildering, and flummoxing part: Reach in through the turning hole in the side seam of the lining and pull the bag through.

12.This is the secret part: Slipstitch the opening closed. (Look for it on your bag.) Or hire aliens to do it. Or if you are making 24 very small bags for baby shower favors, pin the seam closed, raw edges inside, and topstitch the opening closed just on the lining side of the seam allowance. This will be visible on the inside.

13.Push the lining back into the bag and press the top edge.

14.Add a tie by stitching a ribbon through all layers along one seamline. For a reversible bag, put a tie on the inside, too.

15.Fill with fabric, chocolate or a combination of both and celebrate!

Diligent Crackpots may even be able to use the same gift bag twice for the same holiday.

Note the addition of a new gift tag.

Also, one branch of the Crackpots lays claim to the record for the longest running continuously regifted and recycled gift enclosure. The following is ca. 1978.

Green for the Holidays or Gift Bag Etiquette
By Not That Martha

We join together this year to give a Gift to Our Planet by limiting the waste surrounding our gifts to each other. Specifically, we consider the concept of re-gifting and the process of recycling.

Consequently, in order to prevent indescribable faux pas (somebody ask the French student if that’s plural—hard to remember from 40 years ago) during the holiday season, all giftees are asked to observe the following guidelines for Gift Bag Etiquette.

1.Gift Bags may be re-gifted.
a. Gift Bags may be re-gifted the same year they are originally gifted.
b. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to another giftee.
c. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to the original giftor.
d. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to a new giftee who is not present at the original gifting.
e. Inscribed gift tags should be removed from the Gift Bag before re-gifting.
f. Gift Bags may be embellished before re-gifting. Beads, buttons, baubles, ribbons, rickrack, gilding, glitter, and embroidery may be used as embellishments. Other items, as deemed artistically appropriate by the re-giftor may also be used as embellishments. Chocolate, though quite acceptable as a gift, should not be used as an embellishment unless it is well wrapped.
g. Gift Bags made of fabric should not be re-gifted through the refuse collection receptacle unless the gift is intended for the refuse collector or for a fregan or for an anthropology graduate student conducting garbology research.
h. If the Gift Bag is to be re-gifted to contain an edible gift, the edible gift should first be enclosed in a food grade wrap.

2.Gift Bags may be recycled.
a. Gift Bags made of paper may be recycled through municipal recycling services.
b. Gift Bags made of fabric may not be recycled through municipal recycling services.
c. Gift Bags made of paper may be recycled for art or craft projects. Those under the age of seven should use blunt tipped scissors if any cutting is involved in the recycling.
d. Gift Bags made of fabric may be recycled by re-sizing. Those over the age of seven may use Dangerous Equipment, such as sharp scissors, seam rippers, rotary cutters, pins, and sewing machines to re-size the Gift Bag.
e. Gift Bags made of fabric may be recycled into other fabric projects, including quilts, clothing, fabric jewelery, fabric sculptures, or whatever the artist can imagine. Again, the use of Dangerous Equipment is restricted to those over the age of seven.
f. Gift bags (paper or fabric) may be recycled into luggage for playing Airplane or Trip to China.
g. Gift Bags may be recycled into refuse containers for playing Garbage Man or into shopping bags for playing Grocery Store.
h. Gift Bags may be recycled into accessories for playing The Firefighters Come to School, although exactly what the function of the Gift Bags would be is not yet clear.
i. Gift Bags may be recycled to carry clothing from one place to another. However, caution should be used when transporting one’s (previously worn) delicates through any airport in a Gift Bag, due to Homeland Security issues.
j. Gift Bags may be recycled into planet-friendly lunch bags. However, it is not recommended that one use the same recycled gift bag for one’s lunch that one used for transporting one’s (previously worn) delicates.

I am! So it wasn’t the sewing machine…

It was the third prize–Free Limited Edition Scissors! Plus encouragement to come in and save up to $600 on a sewing machine, embroidery machine, or serger at our favorite locally owned fabric store.

I’m wondering if lightning struck more than once. Did any of the other wayward crackpots who dropped their names in the box at the after Thanksgiving sale win anything?